Quoting Prof. Kingsfield:

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... I have dealt with it privately, where it belongs.

Skip

... and now (and not for the first time) publically. Which, if I understand your post, is where it does not belong. Sorry, Skip, this post contradicts itself.

Please don't urinate on my leg and tell me you're not. It's not rain.

When you call people out by name (Taro) and then state that you have dealt with the problem privately in a public statement, it is no longer private, it's public.

I'm saddened by the lack of logic here.

Quoting VibroCount:

Quote:
Please don't urinate on my leg and tell me you're not. It's not rain.

When you call people out by name (Taro) and then state that you have dealt with the problem privately in a public statement, it is no longer private, it's public.

I'm saddened by the lack of logic here.

A prime example of exactly the lack of communication I am referring to. Clif, I presume you aren't calling me a liar, though it certainly sounds like it.

Quoting Pantheon:

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Quoting Prof. Kingsfield:

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Moderation, no this forum operated years without moderation. Some users decided to start crying for moderation and even back then it was clear that they had a particular agenda.

Totally untrue. You and others in this forum treated me like a pile of dog poo when I first came to these forums. I made some silly mistakes with my contributions and was ripped to shreds for it.
I stupidly argued my point at the time (My mistakes were exactly that - mistakes; and I see that now) and I admit, I got pulled into the "you insult me, then I'm going to retaliate in kind" mentality.

I have admitted to being very sensitive in the past and took to heart a lot of the things that were said to me and the way I was treated. You and a couple of other people here made my life hell...how? Because I let you.
I'd love to say that you a just a small man who thinks he is more important than he actually is...but that is not always the case. You have no conception of how much your words can hurt people in this forum. You may think you're being funny or just being "Skip", but in actual fact, you can genuinely hurt people by your actions here.
And, before you say it, I agree that to a certain extent these people should develop thicker skin (like I did)...but, in all seriousness, they shouldn't have to.
Everyone should be able to come into this forum and know that it will be an enjoyable experience and that they won't get picked on - including you.

I'm a firm supporter of moderation - then and now - and I have absolutely no 'agenda' as you put it; other than to prevent people going through what I went through and to stop users being driven away.

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I don't recall ever saying anything to or about you, yet you feel obliged to come after me. Wrong tone.

You often 'come after' new users in this forum for expressing their opinions or making oft-repeated feature requests; so why should any other user be able to do the same.

You and I have had our fair share of run-ins over the years (I registered in 1997 if I remember correctly) and most of the time we are able to get past these moments and move on.

However, your behaviour has not changed in over 10 years. You seem to think it's ok to treat people any way you want and defend it with a "that's just the way I am and I won't change for anyone" or a "you started it" or a "I'm only retaliating to being attacked".
It's all a load of bull.

We all make mistakes. Some of us attack other users when we know it's wrong. MOST of us apologise when this happens. I know in the past I wronged 2 users in such a way and I made damned sure I apologised; but my conscience will never let me forget that I behaved in such an abhorrent way.

You on the other hand seem to think you are always justified in your actions.

Well so am I for telling you that you make the life of many people here miserable.
And THAT opinion is based on 10 years worth of observations.

I apologise to anyone who feels that I have been unduly harsh with my comments here; but 10 years is a long time to watch the same old rubbish being trotted out as an excuse for bad behaviour.
Let the red arrows fly.

P.S. Before you suggest that I only every pull you up on your shortcomings you should remember the Prop8 discussion.
I've been where a lot of people here are - they want to defend themselves when they perceive an attack. Others jump to their defence because they know this kind of behaviour is the rule and not the exception.

This post made my day, thanks Pantheon.

I just want this place to be a welcoming atmosphere that I *want* to post on. It's been quite the contrary due to a very small number of people. I'm not asking for any one individual to be banned either, I just want these individuals to change. But history shows that even after temp bans, the problem still persists, so what next? Keep slapping people on the wrist? That seems to be the philosophy around here.

P.S. Northbloke, your Mickey avatar cracks me up! 

P.P.S. Taro, I miss your posts. I hope in the future things are cleared up enough so you feel comfortable returning. 

P.P.P.S. I too lost my star for posting in this very thread. If you care to read any of them, I might have been negative, but attacking anyone, I did not. I think star's disappear over time regardless of what Ken thinks they do. 

Please forgive me but I feel the need to rant a bit.

The animosity on all sides has been going on long enough. I went back through 17 pages of my posts, to the last page dated August 11, 2009. I was not surprised to see that I had requested the thread "Some Users Are Idiots" be locked.

I have tried every way I can think of to get the community to make the forums a better place. It is very frustrating to see that nothing has changed. The anger and self righteous indignation going back and forth among many people in these forums is extremely disturbing.

These forums have become a toxic place that have driven valuable members away. It is very sad that people only "lurk" for fear of repercussions if they post. And yes, this is a frequent occurrence because I have received dozens of messages saying so.

I would like people to look at what they have written over the past year. Do so with a critical eye. Have you posted in anger? Do you regret what you said? Were you responding defensively? Could you have been or done better? Would you say those things to someone you loved?

It is truly sad that members are not able to discipline themselves. Whether it is an initial poster or things said in reprisal, the time has come to do something to turn these forums into a pleasant, helpful and supportive place.

And, based on the threads going back to August 2009, people are unable stop posting negative and argumentative comments. Until people realize they are accountable for the things they say to one another, then someone else needs to step in.

Quoting Kathy:

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Please forgive me but I feel the need to rant a bit.

Jeez Kathy, you already have 4 stars, I don't think you can get anymore!

Seriously, thanks for your post!  It's appreciated.

Quoting Kathy:

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Quoting Prof. Kingsfield:

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I admire your efforts and self-restraint, Kathy. For my part, I have made the offer, sadly I can' say I am seeing anything on the other side, but I am perfectly willing. I can only wait and see. As I said I have tried to disarm before and been hurt in doing so, I will not do so again.

It will take time Skip. We all need to forget the past and any transgressions that we dealt out or received.

It might be that the disciplinary proposal is the impetus needed to start us on the right path.

There might be other ways that we can reach that goal. I am open to any and all proactive ideas that will make this a pleasant place.

+1

In light of Kathy's constructive post as well as Maurice putting out a friendly hand 'to the other side' as he puts it, I'm perfectly willing to give this one more try and do my best to be a productive and active member of this community.

I still believe that the forum would benefit not only from having the rules clearly posted, but also moderation policy (e.g.: every user first gets two warnings, after that a 1 day ban and so on). I've noticed that forums who post both tend to have less animosity and no posts second-guessing moderation, since both the rules and the way they are enforced are posted clearly for all to see. This is just a friendly suggestion, nothing more.

So I'm starting with a clean slate and I promise that I will abide not only strictly to the rules but will also exercise restraint and not add fuel to fire (something I wasn't always able to do in the past, for which I'm sorry). I may differ from opinion with other members but will always do so in a respectful way, without adding insults or denigrating remarks. Of course, I will not post any racist remarks as well. Moderators can hold me to that. However, I will add that I expect the same form of respect from all other users. If this is not the case, I will not retaliate but will notify the moderators and expect them to act swiftly and decisively.

I believe this is a fair way to start over again with everyone here.